Alternative Facts
6 Signs President Obama Clearly Hates America
March 15, 2015

Okay, we all know we’ve been thinking it — but it’s taken a brave man, a man who had the courage to stand before 60 of my fellow God-fearing, USA-humping, glazed salmon-inhaling conservatives and declare:

“I do not believe, and I know this is a horrible thing to say, but I do not believe that the president loves America. He doesn’t love you. And he doesn’t love me. He wasn’t brought up the way you were brought up and I was brought up through love of this country.”

That man…? That soldier of truth…? None other than former NYC mayor and Democrat-turned Independent-turned moderate Republican-turned publicity-seeking wackadoodle Rudy Giuliani.

I, for one, would like to thank The Giuls for saying what has been on all of our minds. In fact, right off the top of my head, I can come up with six signs Obama clearly hates America:

6. Obama has made no secret of his love for basketball, when everyone knows baseball is the Cuban all-American sport. TRAITOR!

5. Obama supports his wife’s “Let’s Move!” campaign encouraging exercise and better nutrition among kids when most of America HATES exercise and better nutrition. TRAITOR SQUARED!

4. See? He enjoys making babies cry. Sicko.

3. Real Americans — people who love America — like their mustard with a little hot dog. Is there mustard oozing from that hot dog, sir? I. DON’T. THINK. SO.

2. Obama raids moms’ closets when he needs a pair of jeans. Only a man who hates American families would STEAL FROM MOMS.

1. Look at that: Obama’s flag pin is slightly askew. COMMIE! As Mike Huckabee and the rest of the conservatives can attest, true Americans only support things that are 100% STRAIGHT. Anything else is wrong and immoral and a threat to the traditional institution of marriage that Giuliani loves SO much, he’s done it three times!

About author

The Patriot Lady

Candy Kirby is The Patriot Lady, a true American and mother of two who is proud to live in the #1 country in the world and have the #1 name for prostitutes in the country. When Candy is not writing about Making America Great Again, she enjoys watching news shows that echo her own beliefs, long walks on the fracked beach and concocting delicious libations out of liberal snowflake tears. Yum! Recipe to come.

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